Before any of this dating stuff happened, I was faced with the challenge of introspection by the powers-that-be at eHarmony. I had to answer a series of questions and answers, and rank statements in terms of their importance or how strongly they applied to me.
Oh boy. If I knew these answers I might not need this dating site in the first place!
Anyway, I’ll give you the breakdown.
Race: They gave me the options below.
It’s ok to match me with:
- NO PREFERENCE
- HISPANIC / LATINO
- BLACK / AFRICAN DESCENT
- ASIAN / PACIFIC ISLANDER
- NATIVE AMERICAN
- ARABIC / MIDDLE EASTERN
Answer? All. I had to pause before I answered this. I don’t want to rule out anyone who’s a perfect match, but I know that probably about 80% of the men I’ve ever been attracted to have been white. So do I narrow the search in the hopes of finding someone I’m more likely to be attracted to? Or do I leave the search wide open in case my Prince Charming is a Pacific Islander? For the sake of this blog, I left it open. I’ll take the chance and kiss any colour frog that comes my way. Who knows? I could end up as Molly Shu or Molly Katsopoulis. You never know!
Unlike the Ethnicity section, I had to narrow down here. A similar belief system I believe is at the core of every successful relationship. I have met few couples who marry outside of their faith, and it has been obvious to me in the way we talked and interacted, there was a dis-harmony that showed itself in their speech and opinions that seemed to me like a recipe for disaster. Especially when/if it comes to having children. Which faith wins out? Whichever parent is more devout? And if both parents are truly devout then they must want their children to take on their religion for the sake of their eternal souls. Any parent who didn’t care about their child’s soul couldn’t be called a good parent or a proper member of their religion. There is very little middle ground to stand on here, and what there is is filled with landmines.
Children: Do I want them? Yes. Do I want ones ready-made? Is it selfish to say no?
So that’s a no. call me selfish but I want to start fresh, and kids at my age? Already? Call me old fashioned but that just poor planning and judgement on his end.
We’re given lists of words to pick from and they consist of positive and negative attributes. For me, it played out like this.
Positives: I’m warm, witty, intelligent and caring
Negatives: irritable, not content, bossy, impatient
Okay, now maybe I don’t want to date me. Oy…
The last was tricky because it forced you to examine yourself completely objectively.
Other questions included the importance of education and income. But here’s the thing. I’m 24, still living in my parents house, graduated from university but off work for a year following surgery. My income right now is nil. My earning potential once I’m back on my feet is a far greater number if I return to the salaries I’ve previously earned. So that’s not quite a fair question to ask, especially at my age, when most of us are barely past students. So I chose ‘not very important’ as my answer, although I would typically analyze a man by his earnings to see his ambition or drive for what he does. It doesn’t matter what you do for a living, as long as you do it earnestly with that ambition and drive that show the kind of restless, searching spirit that always thinks about how he can succeed and drive forward in his career. That’s the kind of spirit that exists in the (still mostly imaginary) man I’ve been dreaming of. So this paragraph kind of answers both questions. Education is important only because it shows the ability to succeed on a level recognized by the general population. Intelligence, however, can be gained in many other ways besides school.
The consensus? Education is somewhat important. However intelligence is VERY important.
So what would your answers be? Or what words would you pick from the picture above to describe yourself? Did I answer right? Or are the questions fair?
Let me know!